An unconfirmed report from an Alaskan blogger that Sarah Palin's home was burglarized and her family's personal belongings scattered on the lawn had Obama supporters smiling knowingly Thursday.

"You can't blame the burglar," said Emily Wonkette, girl reporter. "That's just what happens when you buy your locks from Walmart. Everyone knows that she conducted government business there, so the public has a right to know the contents of her underwear drawer. The probability that secret government documents that would affect the troopergate investigation were hidden under one of her negligees is incredibly high. Experts agree on this."

"If George Bush can spy on the American people looking for terrorists, the burglarization of Sarah Palin's home is perfectly justified," said Glenn Greenwald, a security expert. "I am pleased to see this woman's hypocrisy revealed. The phony outrage of the Palin supporters is enough to send Lindsay Lohan to a nunnery."

"You have to be a real idiot to get your home broken into," said Ellsworth Mauger, who has an opinion on nearly everything. "What can you expect from someone who had the governor's office wall-papered bordello red? Interestingly, I went to the Sarah Palin name generator site and my name would be Pontificating Moron if Sarah was my mother. I think someone hacked that, too."

CNN reporter Wolf Blitzer took a sympathetic tone. "It is a sad thing for someone to have their home burglarized, but Ms. Palin should have known that sort of thing can happen when you run for Vice President against the most wonderful human being the world has ever known. If she's such an ardent Christian, why didn't God protect her? I hardly think a faith-based security system for your home is adequate, but what can you expect from a nut job Evangelical who will force women to have babies and attack Russia the minute she takes office?"

"If Ms. Palin had nothing to hide, why didn't she just leave the house unlocked?" asked Barbara Wonkette, Emily's smarter sister. "It seems suspicious to me. I want full disclosure of everything scattered on that lawn. Who does she think she is fooling?"

Vice President Dick Cheney was unavailable for comment.

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